THAT SINKING FEELING..

It is not in a very great mood that I write this..Actually quite unhappy..This feeling has not crept in this morning..It actually has its roots for the past 30 years during my growing up..This
feeling is about our country..It’s about INDIA.

Though I have never been much of a patriot any day, I have never hated my country..Actually for a certain period ( 2005-2008) and also after the worldwide financial crisis of 2008 and how
India got out of it, I was really feeling to get proud for the way we handled this crisis and how our conventional & old fashioned school of thought helped us stay out of it in a major way. Also, because people like me who would have struggled otherwise, got absorbed by the corporate sector, got paid well and are doing pretty ok for ourselves, due to the “INDIA GROWTH STORY”.

But in the same breadth, I have been an advocate of the developed world like the US during those times and shouted to anyone who heard my voice as to how US would come out of it
strongly..I also added that it is the people and the attitude of this people that will help them come out strong and prove the world that they are not the world’s most powerful economy for no cause...Though the current situation there is not the most attractive one, but they are on their way back and have fought well..

US also have had a positive image on my background because of the things that I heard from my NRI relatives..I realised that they never had to fight the basics of life..Basic food, water, electricity were not to be asked..It was a given..Also, life for them was a struggle only to earn and earn more..not because their telephone was not working due to the cable cut by the guy trying to fix the drainage or not because they had no drainage, because the electricity guy cut the drainage pipe while fixing the power cord...

But this is not about US or about the comparison..This is just about India..The reason I had to pick up my laptop and start typing @ 6 in the morning is the negativity in the air was really
bothering me beyond any control for the past few months..I will just spell out the top few things and you will gauge my mood and why..
1) Corruption
2) Inflation

3) Increasein fuel prices, then decrease, then again increase
4) Jan lok pal bill
5) Re appreciating against the dollar
6) IIP(index of industrial production) nos going down
7) Fiscal deficit increasing ( due to balance of payments)
8) Corporate India not happy due to major policy decision not moving
9) FDI in retail decision scrapped due to allies not being happy
10) UID not getting funds and getting scrapped.
( India’s win against West Indies was a positive but I am mentioning it here separately because I am sure we will have a tough time in Australia)

All of the above points in themselves are a topic and I am quite sure of writing a few pages on them but not now..What I am trying to point out is that not only have we moved very
slowly for the past 50-60 years, we are now embarking in a very dangerous
direction..A direction which is quite capable of taking us backward to pre 90’s though not in the same way.. For me the funda of growth is very simple..
a) Government to give infrastructure and favourable environment to Corporates

general public.
b) Corporates will create industries and more jobs, also will earn more and pay more taxes.
c) People with jobs will spend on good & services; also will pay more taxes to the govt.
d) Govt again to make infrastructure and favourable environment and the cycle to
continue..

The problem is when you try to choke the corporate world..Try and stop policy decisions in turn stopping their growth..Asking for illicit money to take forward policy decisions or to favour
a singly corporate against the other...this type of behaviour sets them back..They try and start looking for opportunities outside the country..The capex that would give us a better infrastructure and a better industry will not be set up outside India only due to the favourable environment and policies..

The government ( and all of them sitting there but I will write govt because they are the ones supposed to take the decision against all odds..We voted them to power for that) is paralysing us.. And if the vaccine is not given now, there is a sure chance that we will suffer from Polio and India will lose its limbs..

JAY HIND!!

Roti, Kapda aur Makaan

Insomnia these days has become a part of life. also what is surprising is that the time my sleep vanishes has been constant; @ 4 : 30 am and no matter what so ever i do after that, sleep doesnot beckon me. It is also surprising becoz these days in office have been pretty long and demanding and , a sound sleep is inevitable, but nevertheless..

Day before was a holiday and was one of the perfect times to write this blog but today morning sees more befitting. This thought is not that which crosses mind only as a passing fad but has been born on several occasions and i thought it would only be right if i put it here

One of these days, i was coming back from office and was later than the usual time, about 9:30 pm.It was raining very heavily and hence there was a lot of traffic and that only made matters worse.On reaching home, i found out that the main gate was closed and i would have to get out of my car in the heavy rain and open the gate to park my car. I was very tired and this only made matters worse since i am of the kind who doesnt like to get wet but options were few. I parked my car and again had to get wet becoz the aunty who serves the tiffin had not left the tiffin outside my house as is the daily routine and i again had to venture in that heavy rainfall for my dinner since I had not had anything after lunch and hunger was beyond control.

When i finally managed to reach home after this "excursion" of mine i was completely drained and mad with hunger. I flung my wet clothes to one corner of the bathroom, changed into my night dress and started having dinner. Post that, i ventured out into my lobby to enjoy the rainfall, which till sometime back was irritating me beyond control and that is when this thought occured to me.

No matter, how tired we are or how bad our day has been, at the end of the day we all yearn for one thing..to go back to that brick and mortar construct which we call "home". The serenity and peace we get lying on that bed in our own room is worth a million dollars and not even TAJ EXOTICA of Maldives ( i know becoz i have been there :), its really good) can offer.

We shed our clothes of the day as if we are shedding all the worries and tensions that stuck to them like a moth and get into a pair of washed loose fit night dress which gives us the comfort that is unmatchable at that moment to even the Giorgio Armani's of the world.

Hot home made dinner has been waiting to tinkle with our taste buds and we attack the food as drought stricken Somali has been subjected to food after a long time. The satisfaction we get after that food and the blessing which come out of our stomach can actually bless somebody with a 1000 years of life or 100 pandavas like sons.

Not every body is as lucky as us to get this. When i see the people who live by the road side i really feel sad as to how they would be dealing with natural misfortunes like heavy rain with no extra pair to change to, no house to go to at the end of the day to relieve themselves of the day's work and no food to satisfy that burning sensation of hunger which in itself can kill without the body actually submitting itself.

When i was young, i though "roti, kapda and makaan" is an old hindi "pakau" 1970's Manojkumar movie. little did i know that it was the slogan of the masses asking for the basics of life. As per me, from 1970 to today, little has changed, and though the slogan in itself might not be contemporary, the reality is. As usual getting figures by googling doesnot interest me becoz a milliion and some no here and there will actually not change the reality.

A sunday article "Swaminomics" in TOI spoke about the nutrition levels of food that is consumed by children in India. This is like talking about bidding and hosting for Olympic games when CWG is in such a state.

i am not sure or let me say i am very sure that this post of mine will do nothing to change the situation that we are in but any time sooner or later we get a chance of changing the way things are i think this should be part of our " Common Minimum Programme" as Leftist would have put it.

Take care!!

Wandering thoughts...

04 Sep. 10

My brother just reminded me that I had stopped writing “blogs”. Simply put, stopped writing. So why had I let all those unstructured thoughts vanish?

These days I am staying alone. It’s been about 6 months now and I just wander around the house alone. I walk to a nearby tea shop to have tea/coffee twice a day on weekends just as a pretext, though I have ample of milk and other ingredients required. I feel good when I venture out and breathe that air, see the people, the shops, the traffic.. (Some will say, don’t u have enough of them over the week?) no seriously..

I have around 300 contacts in my phonebook, some 195 odd friends on Facebook, am following 92 people on twitter and some 50 odd are following me, 15 odd BBM ( Blackberry messenger contacts), 1 wife and 1 brother. The reason I mentioned these 2 people separately even though they being part of all ( almost all..Thank god wife is not on twitter) the above social “networking” sites, r the 2 most and anytime accessible people in my life.( these days, even wife is not so easily accessible since she has found someone..JUNIOR).

When I was in Ahmedabad, my wife complained that I don’t give her enough time. I myself complained that I don’t give enough time to myself. Now that I have all the possible time in the world , I am complaining that the people I know do not give me enough time. I yearn for the phone to ring or the BBM to blink. Contradiction?? Actually no..

In spite of all of the above means and ways to stay connected with people, when you actually feel like calling someone and talking to them there is this small “jhijhak” whether that person will be in a position to speak to u or would like to do so. I was utterly surprised at myself when one of these days I asked a very close friend of mine on twitter if I can call him and speak to him. Strange? Actually very strange.

Our lives today are so hectic and we are so much under time pressure that our groups of interactions are getting smaller and convenience based. We get very little time for ourselves or our dear ones, that we want to try and spend that time just among those 2-3 people as per our convenience. Hasnt it happened that one of your old close friend is online and though u haven’t spoken to him/her for a long time, u get invisible..Not because u don’t want to speak to him. It’s just that you don’t want to talk to him “just now” because u only have an “X” amount of time with you which is truly yours and you already have a predicided menu for that . Just try and recollect from your list of “friends” that we have on our “lists”, when was the last time we spoke on a one to one and you will be surprised to find that you would not have done that with 90% of them in a long time unless the list is made up of only office colleagues !!

Times will change and I will be back with my family. These thoughts will again start wandering in the opp direction. .

*The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the view of the general public

Pivatisation

A Sunday morning is one of the best times to put your mind to work at things which r not selfish. The idea of this blog actually triggered back on one the weekdays, but could only manage to reach here on a Sunday.

I could very well start this blog by “Googling” figures on how India is doing vis a vis Rest Of World in terms of poverty, health care, education, no. of female child foetus getting killed, blah blah blah….but then immediately the right side of the brain would come up with things like growing GDP, increase of mobile density, how well we managed recession and similar blah blah blah…And so today, I thought I will not talk about things that are already known.

What triggered this thought is the sight of men cleaning “man holes”, actually “dangerous man holes” containing toxic chemicals and waste, bare handed, with trousers rolled up to their thighs which makes the lower torso fully exposed to this hazardous waste and not to forget that they go completely inside and breathe “poison” which is not even suitable to exhale. Are we as a “state” (read country) so poor, that we cannot provide this people with suitable body suits and masks??? We are not.

So why don’t we do that?? The answer is we don’t care. So why don’t we care?? Because if that person dies doing that job, we have 15 or may be another 150 waiting in line to do the same job. Also because if that person dies, his family cannot sue the govt for putting his life to potential death risk; forget suing, they will have to spend rest of their lives outside govt offices waiting for the paltry sum of Rs 10,000 or 15,000 which is the “human life value” of the man hole cleaner.

So what should we do?? I came up with this idea...Can we privatise the govt?? I know it may sound ridiculous at the first thought but lemme give it a try...

Ok, so the first job is to create an organizational hierarchy. Instead of the president we will have the”Chairman” and the PM will be the “Group CEO”.

All cabinet ministers will be “Vertical Heads” for their separate verticals like Home Ministry, External Affairs, Rural development, Defence etc.

All chief ministers will be “CEO” for their own state. The ministers in his cabinet for difference portfolios will have a direct reporting into the CM with a dotted line to the Vertical Head, for e.g. the Finance Minister of Gujarat Mr. Vajubhai Vala ( I think, pl excuse me) will report into Mr. Narendra Modi with a dotted line reporting to Mr. Pranab Mukherjee)

Each state will be a cost centre and a revenue centre and funds will be allocated centrally basis performance only. Also free cash flows (net profit) every month will have to be transferred to the central account with P&L and balance sheet at the end of the month.

So and so forth...we will create an organizational hierarchy.

So, once the structure is in place let’s talk about the work.

Every CEO of the state will be completely responsible for all the affairs at his state. He will have his KRA (Key Responsibility Area) on which he will be reviewed every quarter by the group CEO. Some of them could be:

1) How secure do the people feel in the state (there will be an index called CSI – citizen satisfaction index which will have questions pertaining to all the things affecting him and scores will be taken from there)

2) % literacy vis a vis last quarter with sub topics like % female literacy, primary education, secondary education, no of schools built, no of teacher per school, etc

3) % people BPL & % of people getting 2 meals a day

4) % employment

5) % of deaths happening in the state with a pie chart of reasons and justification

6) Condition of public healthcare (can be measured by no of hospitals per thousand people, no of doctors per hospital, etc)

7) Incremental FDI brought to the state and the effect on employment

8) % increase in per capita income of its residents.

9) Accounting every rupee inflow and every rupee outflow

These are just some of them and the list can be revised and discussed upon.

In a similar way, the CM will conduct a review of its ministers to get a fair idea of what is happening.

At the end of the year there should be an appraisal system and the results will be made public.

All cabinet reshuffles will be done basis performance only.

Also, the P&L of the state and the centre should be published once in a month in all major newspapers so that the public can know of the workings of the state.

In a nutshell, unless and until we bring professionalism in running a state (read country), we will not be able to ably distribute the fruits of high growth rate that our country is achieving to the needy and unless and until the condition of the “bottom of the pyramid” improves we will not be able to celebrate this growth, our conscience will not allow us!!

Jai hind.

Myself....

Around 2 hours before I was watching TV. While swapping channels, one of the channels was telecasting the movie DDLJ and the song “tuje dekha to ye Jana..” was being played. Though I have watched the song a lot of times before, this time, it brought back some known sensation to my body, some known smell, some known vibes. Truly speaking I couldn’t relate to it because I have been in a lot of relationships but there was something in that song that struck me that moment; have still not been able to figure out what…

This took me to the thought of my first relationship. Today when I sit and think back about it, I actually never felt anything for that particular girl; it was just that none of my friends at that age (17) had a girlfriend, this particular girl was the most approachable and accessible and I wanted to show off. Some of these stupid things led me to my first relationship (never call it an “affair”, I hate using that word). But the thought does not end there. If that day I would have been explained not to just rush into things just for the sake of it, I could have saved myself for what I started getting branded as( I am still branded the same)

It could have saved the innumerable attractions and failed relationships. What is more striking is, even after after that incident all the other relationships, (bearing one of them) were mere relations that were built on infatuation/attraction and later carried on for the sake of emotional & physical security & needs respectively. Also, after the age of 17, after my first relationship, which thank god took 17 years to start, I have barely remained without a girlfriend. Sometimes I even went to the extent of 2 timing.

So why was that in spite of having friends, in spite of having all other things very normal to people around me, I was always looking out for someone who could give me that emotional/physical security??

Was it something related to my childhood, I don’t know…

Today, it’s been 2 years to my marriage and I am going to be a father in the next 6 months. On the wall opposite me in my TV room, hangs a large collage prepared by my wife and gifted to me on my our anniversary ( I really don’t remember). That collage has selected pics right from the day we met till our honeymoon and some even after that. When I look at the “gentleman “in those pics, I really feel “was this me??” was I really posing for these pics this way and why was I smiling?? What was I thinking..

I am really not ready to face the judgement on myself on whether that kind of thinking is proper or not, because though we may not believe in it but I have faced it that things cannot always be black or white, sometime they ought to be grey also.

Expectation"s"

Dec 07, 2009

This one’s for a close friend who told me I have started looking a lot at the broader global picture and forgotten to look around me. So I thought, why not, mauka bi hai aur dastur bhi..Whatever it means…

So, what’s around us?? People and lots of people. People in the form of friends, family, colleagues and of course strangers, lots of them who cross your path without even letting you know and some who take your attention.

Let’s start with ones whom we know; our friends, family and colleagues who make us laugh and cry innumerous times in a day, who contribute 99% of our life routine. But the other 1% cannot make us laugh or cry or cause any emotional outburst (only if he breaks the rear light of your car).

But the imp question is why only these people are able to create this emotion?? Do you ever feel bad if a stranger does not greet you on the traffic signal, but how about your friend not returning your call or your office colleague not asking you if you wanted a cup of coffee when he/she stood up to get one??

The answer to all of the above is a word which I believe ( and it may be wrong) is “expectation”. It is the one word in the English dictionary which is solely responsible for all the emotions floating around. Just think about it…one morning you wake up and do not know about this word….you will not yell at your mom for preparing the same breakfast, you will not yell at the one driving just ahead of you for breaking the signal, at your office colleague for not asking you coffee, your girlfriend for not talking long enough yesterday night or yourself for not remembering to buy yourself shaving foam which has been over for 3 days now…

A person breaks into an emotional outburst when he does not get what he expects. Now how do these expectations arise, is yet another topic on its own and we will touch upon it later. But yes, when our expectations are not fulfilled, we feel sad and when they are up to the mark or better we fill very happy.

But this is theoretical. If you ask me or yourself, is it possible to take away expectation from our lives, the answer would be a plain “no”. So then why this thought??

Because though it is not possible to entirely wash away the expectations, it is rather important to keep them in control, so as to not hurt yourself and those around you. And you will see that people around you who seem to be rather “cool” about stuff on which you overreact kind of follow this.

So how do these expectations build and what goes after them? An expectation is built over the time by the thing or person reacting or behaving in one particular way. For e.g. if one of your friends who’s always been a fun loving, happy go lucky, chatter box comes to your party and sits in one corner sipping a drink, what would you feel?? Not happy of course. So what made you expect he would behave in a particular way? His past behavior and traits. Similar is the case with everything and everybody surrounding you.

We over a period of time, get so used to certain things and expect them to behave in the same way all the time. Not only others, we expect ourselves also only to behave in a certain manner and when we don’t do that, we question ourselves also, and hear ourselves saying “what’s wrong with you dude, you never talk so much”.

So how do we not behave in one particular way and do we now have to try and behave different every time so as not get into a stereotypic behavior mode, if I may say??

Not really, the trick is not thinking too much before doing something and following your heart right through. If there’s a party going on, and you feel like singing out to everybody, don’t stop and think if it’s “correct” to do so at that particular time; just look for an opportunity and climb the stage and sing your heart out.

I think that by doing so we will achieve 2 things: one, not mould ourselves into one behavioral pattern and even if we do we will be called schizophrenic.

Just kidding, we need not be named into a category.

Take care!!

Dec 6,2009

Hi everybody, today it’s been a long time after I sat down to write like this. But u know, better late than never.

Actually, also today’s a little different in other ways. I actually do not have a huge thing to tell. It’s just small things that have happened over a period of time and they keep crossing my mind again and again and so I thought I better put them on paper( or I may say WinWord) to get away and let the fresh ones come in.

Liberhan report:

To put it very straight I really don’t care about this man or what he did for 17 years writing those 1000 pages.

What I really want to know is, is it really fair on a country like us who has such a large population living below the poverty line ($2 a day, don’t know where World bank got that from, don’t tell me they borrowed it from the BIG A), another huge population who might be just above the poverty line but does not have the basis amenities like shelter and sanitation, and the 3^rd lot who might be “fortunate” enough to have the above two, but are not accessible to education, need to spend such a huge amount of money on a post facto analysis of history. I don’t think so.

What I found funny on that day when there were clashes in the parliament on the leak of the Liberhan report was, the BJP was the one yelling and shouting slogans against the Home Minister asking him for an explanation as to how the report leaked?? I mean, weren’t they the ones who were sought responsible for the entire demolition thing and weren’t they supposed to sit quietly and answer as to what they were thinking when they let that happen. But anyways, whos talking logically anyways.

Anniversary of 26^th Nov 2008: sorry, but I am not going to call it “26/11”.what is this obsession with the west that we start calling dates all that way and btw I don’t think half of these people who call it that know that 9/11 is 11^th Sep and 26/11 is 26^th Nov.neways, that’s not the topic.

I am not against all the candles lit and all the silence observed. Even I did it because we always say a prayer to pay a homage who lost their lives saving ours.

But our larger question should have been what has changed since that date and what is it that will ensure that this does not happen again.

You might come up with answers like we have now equipped our policemen and other Para military forces with better equipment and we exchange intelligence reports with other countries and blah….

I think the RCA ( root cause analysis) is incorrect and we really need to get to the core. It’s not like we don’t know where it’s coming from; it’s just that we are telling ourselves or our govt is telling us “ don’t worry, everything’s going to be fine”.

Everything’s not going to be fine this way; unless and until they take accountability of what is happening and not only that, take stern steps to get rid of them by any stick, this sort of thing cannot be ruled out again; not only on us.(actually they are more vulnerable to it).

Why doesn’t our government understand that Gandhiji died in 1948 and it is not possible to follow his values at every count of life ( of course not at other people’s lives) not when the other party has been taking us for a ride for 50 years now.

I think we got to catch our act fast, talk to them first, but not the way our leaders are talking “ will you pl arrest Hafiz Sayeed?, will you pl file charges against him?” we got to set deadlines, take this matter up with the international bodies and the nations with whom we are trying to sweet up relations and “do nuke deals” and tell them once and for all. Even then if they do not straighten themselves up, it’s time for action. It’s better that 500 people die once in one war than 50 dying every week at 10 different locations and our govt. only reacting but not acting.

The other day on this anniversary date, I was watching Rajdeep Sardesai interviewing Mr. P Chidambaram. On asking him about the Kasab trial and as to when will it get over, I was shocked to hear the reply. The guest said he was not even sure whether Kasab is guilty and should be left over to the court of law. I can understand not sentencing him in front of national television, but what was this “I am not sure” as if answering to Farouk Zakaria on BBC whether he thinks India’s GDP is sustainable. I mean political correctness is good but not all the time..Where is emotional correctness?????

Succession Planning:

All this political unrest in AP got me to think about this. When YSR was around and handling the entire things fine, what was Sonia Gandhi thinking. I know none of us had thought about the unforeseen event that occurred but he was not Bhishma Pitamah whose eternal reign was never going to end.

And there the point comes up..It is always dangerous to have a one man show and have no back up. That is what exactly happened here. And then what they did was set up the oldest guy they could see in the lot as the heir. Would it help??

Surely didn’t help in this case. The TRS is asking for a separate state and are doing it in a violent way and this gentleman, at the helm of affairs calls a meeting of intellectuals to ask them what he should do next?? His MPs are not making things easier for him by behaving in a refractory manner by writing in directly to the Congress President about the matters of the State.

The similar thought came to my mind when I read Ratan Tata’s interview saying he was yet to find a success for his empire..Whoof..Is he serious??

I will send him my resume and you guys can be sure I will surely have a succession plan J

Chao!!!